


Lie to Me

by Walker_August



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 03:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walker_August/pseuds/Walker_August
Summary: August Walker x reader with the prompts:“Can I request please a one shot with August? Where they have a big fight lot of angst maybe one of them suggest to break up but at the end they make up??”+“Do you think you could write a headcanon about how you and August make up after a fight or argument? Something along the lines of you sitting alone and him coming to kiss your neck, or settling his head under your chin and apologise?”





	Lie to Me

August being home should make you feel good, great, and it does but you can’t ignore the nagging feeling you get knowing he’s going to be gone again before you know it. Tonight, you were supposed to be finally celebrating moving in together – if you could really call it that – but instead, you can’t stop yourself from letting all the thoughts spill when he notices your distraction and asks what’s on your mind.

“August, what are we doing? I don’t know if I can do this. You’re never here. I have to work my job, and look after the house, deal with my family who think you don’t exist because they still haven’t met you, and hope that you’re actually going to come home.” You sigh and run your hands through your hair, you force yourself to look at him seeing his expression change as you speak. You don’t mean to say it, not like this and not now, but you can’t take it back now.

“What are you saying? That you want to end this?” his demeanour is calm but that’s betrayed by the shake in his voice. He’s not surprised because this is how relationships always end for him, but he had hoped things would be different with you because they felt so different, so good.

“No…I-I don’t know. I don’t know” you mumble, shrinking away. Is it better to be with him, or without him? You’re heart and head have very different ideas. You sigh, wringing your hands and turning away from him to compose yourself.

“Please. I love you, and we said it was going to be difficult, we were right. But we said we’d always keep trying as long as we loved each other. Do you still love me?” His speech is certain, passionate, desperate as he realises he’s not ready to give you up.

You sniff, wiping away a tear and thinking before you reply “Yes. How could I not? You’re…you. But that doesn’t make this go away. August, please. I want you to be part of my family but you can’t be that until they get a chance to meet you. I feel like you’re always trying to avoid it” admitting that hurts so much, you feel love for him always but there has to be more for the relationship to stay strong.

“It is scary. I haven’t really gotten to this point in a relationship before, and I know I need to build up some courage but that isn’t what’s stopped me from meeting them and you know it. It’s work”

“It’s always work! Always. You’re never here” you have to stop yourself from raising your voice in annoyance, knowing he doesn’t deserve that.

“Don’t act like I didn’t tell you. You knew and you told me you could do this, you didn’t need someone who was always there” it’s his turn to get annoyed now, feeling like he’s going in circles, like this is always going to be the way every relationship goes – but it’s you and he can’t face the thought that you’re giving up on him now.

“What if I was wrong? What if I changed my mind? Every moment I spend with you only makes me want to spend more with you. And dealing with the fact that you might not come home only makes it worse. August, it’s so much more difficult than I expected” you admit, breaking down in tears, doubt spreading in your mind.

“I don’t know what to say to you. I’m sorry, for the pain and the worry. But I don’t have a solution to offer you” he shrugs, checking out of the conversation on some level even as he again blinks away his tears.

“How do we do this?” you sigh at the same time moving farther away from him.

“We either try or we give up. Tell me what you want?” he’s quiet, hesitant.

“What do you want?”

“I want what’s best for you…”

“August, that’s not-”

He cut’s you off with “That’s all I can tell you, it’s the truth”

“Well, I don’t want to give up. I just…don’t want to feel like this forever, I want to feel happy and not full of dread every time you’re a day late to come home. It’s driving me crazy! Maybe…Maybe this is it” you can’t believe you’re saying it but pain has so shrouded and blackened your mind and he doesn’t seem to want to fight for you, suddenly. “Maybe we should end it”

August sort of freezes for a moment, not saying anything or reacting. In his mind he’s screaming, begging, but he never learnt to let those desperate emotions show so he supposes you’ll never know how much he doesn’t want this. Instead he tells you “I need a minute”, turning away from you. You watch him grab his coat and leave, and you feel pain down in your soul. What just happened?

Feeling empty and cold, you grab a blanket and sit down. Wrapping yourself up, your face wet with tears as you try to breathe. Everything happened so suddenly, that wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to leave. You sit there for what feels like hours, trying to wrap your head around your feelings and what he said, and what you said.

August comes back a couple of hours later, he goes in to the bedroom and you wonder if he’s going to pack some stuff and leave again, but you don’t know how to tell him you don’t want that. Instead, though, he comes to you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do so I had to go for a drive” he tells you, standing in the doorway behind you and keeping a little distance.

“It’s okay. You don’t have anything to apologise for. I love you and I’m the one who should be sorry, I sprung all that on you out of nowhere and said some stupid things” you say, as he comes to sit in front of you. When you see his face you can tell he’s been crying, even if you’ve never really seen it before.

“You aren’t wrong though, it’s not going to be easy. I wanted to say- I need to tell you that I’m not ready to give up. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do but I don’t know if I could ever move on from you. I don’t want to, but I don’t want to be the reason you’re sad either” you’re going to speak, tell him that’s not what it is, but he continues “I can’t make any promises about right now, but I can tell you it won’t be like this in the future. I won’t be with the CIA forever, a few more years maybe and then we can be together properly. I know it’s a shitty compromise, but it’s all I’ve got right now” He gets on his knees in front of where you’re sitting, looking up at you with hope.

“What about my family? Can you take some time off, come home with me?”

“Yes, of course. The agency can make do without me for a few days. Just tell me we’re going to keep trying”

You nod, lacing your fingers with his before you embrace him, letting your tears spill on to his shirt.

“I’m so sorry” you whisper “What I feel for you, it’s scary sometimes.”

“I know the feeling” he smiles, face buried against your neck where he kisses lightly. You move away, taking his face in your hands and smiling soft at him. You know this isn’t a resolution to the problems, but you’ll take the temporary fix over losing him.

“I’ll learn to live with this, with you not being here. I promise. But you have to promise me you’ll always come back to me, OK?”

“I can’t” he shakes his head, worry crossing his features because that’s too much for him to promise.

“I know” you smile sadly “Just lie to me”.


End file.
